It is inescapable in recent years to be aware of the celebrity deaths involving suicide. In past decades, the expectation was for drug/alcohol overdose and plane crashes. One the consequence of the lifestyle choice and the other a freak accident. But recently, it seems that suicides have afflicted the rich and famous and not always targeting the people you would have expected. These are not people who have led troubled lives or who have made the front page news for deviant behavior. These are people you thought were out of reach of depression and anxiety.
Two such names stick out for most of us: Robin Williams and Chester Bennington. A man we thought was filled with nothing but joy, because that’s what he brought. He laughed and made us laugh. And another man with a reputation for singing the emotions we all suffer. His songs often spoke of encouragement to those struggling with depression. These are not the ones we would have suspected.
The Suicide Truth
It’s easy to see the posts on Facebook or the news, but let me share a few truths of suicide:
- Suicide follows with a barrage of hateful comments informing the living that their loved ones are in Hell. That an unforgiveable sin has been committed. I do not presume to know whether these comments are true or not. If someone is in Hell, would declaring it undo this? And in what way would that make the situation better for the living? I can understand making difficult comments in the name of rightness. But before making such ‘biblical’ comments, reflect on the biblical criteria for what you should say. If your comments aren’t going to edify, then perhaps refrain.
- Most of us think of ourselves as fairly decent friends. And I would guess most of us would like to think we make ourselves available, should anyone need us. We post the suicide hotline on our Facebook. We tell our friends to come to us if they ever need any help. But then we condemn anyone struggling with suicide and yet we are shocked when they don’t come to us when they’re struggling with depression. Be mindful of how you’re presenting yourself and just how consistent your character presents.
- It’s easy to place those struggling with depression and suicide in a separate sphere of struggle. We make comments that we can’t understand how they could ever struggle with the idea of committing suicide. Get real with yourself for a moment. Suicide and depression has no discrimination– regardless of gender, race, religion, sexual orientation or wealth. Depression can come to anyone.
- If you are the rare person who has never even experienced a short phase of depression, don’t write it off as ‘sadness’. Such labels underscores just how intense depression really is– it’s not a momentary emotion, but a deep and pervasive thought and mood. It’s the feeling of utter hopelessness, and more significant, the feeling that nothing will ever change– that they will always feel hopeless. And that is why people commit suicide. If you felt that there were no options available that could better your situation, you might have the fleeting temptation of suicide, as well. No, I don’t condone suicide. But, I don’t condone a lack of compassion, either.
The take away? Allow yourself to feel the pain that is hitting another person and to speak to them through that empathy.
