As Christmas winds to a close, we start distributing the leftovers and putting our new gifts away. We know we should take down the decorations, but the tree will be dead before it finds the curb. The end of Christmas marks the time for us to think about our New Year’s resolutions. Every social media platform urges us to list all our vices, and any missing healthy habits. What to start and what to end; what is missing that would make us one step closer to healthy?
While everyone else is creating their lists, I never participate. I can appreciate everyone wanting to improve their lives. So, why can I not get on board?
Problems with the New Year’s Resolutions Mindset
There are so many problems with the mindset of New Year’s Resolutions. Ironically, these seem to set people up for never improving. Should a client think about life the way most people think about New Year’s resolutions, their clinician would consider it faulty thinking.
- All or nothing. “I’m going to lose 50 pounds by summer and get rock hard abs, or I’m going to continue eating Taco Bell every day.” There is a whole world between the two extremes that will still bring change.
- Defeatist/critical thinking. “I should be doing…,” “I ought to be more…,” as people create New Year’s resolutions, they usually end up just making a list of every single thing they don’t like about themselves.
- Overgeneralizing. “All healthy people work out every day,” “Thin people never eat carbs,” therefore, I must do the same to be the same. Well, some healthy people work out every day. But, some try to make it a couple of times a week, and still sometimes don’t manage that frequent.
- Catastrophizing. On slip up, one off day and it’s all ruined. Well, I had one cigarette, I ate one carb… why even bother? Really? You actually expect to make it an entire year without a single mistake in habit-forming?
- Labelling. “I am fat”, therefore, my resolution is to be “thin.” This is not a helpful way of creating change. The entire point is that you are making changes to your attitudes and behavior. But labelling makes the bad habit who you are as a person.
- Change is not monitored. “I need to do _ for the next year.” There is no gradual increase/decrease in a behavior; it immediately goes to a way of life.
- The rest of the year must wait. If there is something that needs to change in your life, why should you wait for this time of year? Go ahead and make small changes, now.
What I do Instead
As you may or may not know, I’m insane.
- Life Goals. So, I have a running bucket list of ideal goals to hit in my lifetime. I have divided these according to different areas of my life (e.g. Fitness, Hubby)
- Annual Goals. Every fall, I go through and decide which ones to focus on for the upcoming year. These are my annual goals. Some are items from my bucket list, while others will help me get closer to a bucket list item.
- Quarterly Goals. I always break the annual goals into chunks, either incremental improvements or step-by-step process to achieve the annual goals. I do these each quarter, because there will always be thing that I’m struggling to achieve and may need to continue working on.
- Monthly Goals. Every month, I have set priorities and specific goals I’m focusing on more than others.
- Weekly Goals. These are very small and very manageable (i.e. research how to, go for a run to see how far you can go).
I always plan these by quarter, and it does take about a day. But for the average, sane person, this would never work for them.
What a Non-Crazy Person Could Do
Alright, so is there a version of this for normal people? Of course! Here are some different versions you can do:
- Post it notes: Think of 12 things you want to accomplish this year. Nothing too big or crazy. Maybe run a 5k or start journaling. Write each one on a post-it note and have them posted in a visible place. Every month, just pick one thing to accomplish.
- Phone calendar: Instead of attempting to use a day planner for the first time (it pains me to know there are such people), try using your phone calendar or a Google calendar + app combo. Then, those goals, like running everyday will have a little reminder. Think of a time that would actually work for you every day and if it ends up not working for you, you can easily change that time. I would suggest having a larger end goal (like running 5 miles or a marathon), rather than “run every day.” You already know that you won’t be able to do that.
Any hardcore New Year’s resolution keepers out there? What works for you?
