Let’s be honest… I make a lot of mistakes. I am clumsy and forget tasks unless they’re in my planner. Also, I miss due dates and always seem to have missed phone calls. Teaching makes it easy for me to pick on myself. There is always more that I can be doing– another lesson plan to make, another review game. Always more and never quite enough. The losses of each day seem to just pile up, ranging in severity and humiliation. We tell ouselves that everyone else is seeing the pile and our self-conscious selves feel only defeat. It’s time to celebrate. An odd reaction to defeat, I know, but basking in the glory of my failures isn’t bringing success, either.
Creating Victories
It’s easy to feel the presence of defeat, without even trying. Meanwhile, the victories are tucked away with hardly any acknowledgement. But the truth is, neither can exist unless we’ve had goals. You can neither win or lose if you weren’t working towards something. There are moments when I feel the temptation to listen to sad music while sitting alone in the dark because I couldn’t get in that last set of an exercise. I give myself 5 minutes to wallow and then it’s time to get an action plan. If you’re really strunggling, give yourself some goals that you know you can accompplish. These goals should be ones that won’t require a lengthy amount of time.
But what I’m suggesting is that you don’t even have to create new goals. Look more closely at everything you’re trying to do in life. Look at the overall goals: more accomplished at work, more successful in the gym…Focus on the things you are already doing that helps you get closer to those goals. Show up at the gym, get your cardio in, meal prep and you’re succeeding. You have small victories, and the more you look, the more you will see. In reality, even the losses you’re facing are most likely small ones, so it becomes a matter of perspective.
Celebrate Profound Change
You probably already knew everything I’ve just said. Everyone knows to “stay positive”, “focus on the good”, and to “celebrate the little things”. But it remains something that I struggle with, and it mostly likely is for you, too. A few years ago, I discovered an amazing person, Dr. Caroline Leaf. She has looked at neuroscience from a completely new direction… and I may have lost half of you right after using the word “neuroscience”. Stay with me, I promise, this woman is profound. Science now proves that our thoughts change our brain chemistry.
Our thoughts (whether negative or positive), and our behavior (especially eating) change the way our brain functions. When we adopt this constant attitude of defeat, we literally changing our brain chemistry. But, when we change the way we’re thinking– focusing on the good, celebrating the victories, and not comparing ourselves to others (cough cough…. every chick at the gym….. cough cough)– we can make new changes to our brain. We do not remain the same forever and the decisions we make in our thought life will shape how our brains function in the future.
My Game Plan
So, as I said, this is something we all know, but I still need reminding. Truth is, I need more than reminding– I need to create a way for me to actually apply those reminders. So, here is my game plan:
- Journaling. Could I sound any more like a psych major? I usually journal for my devotions and when I’m having a rough day– but what if I actually took time to chronicle the victories. When I’m having those rough days, I could then flip through and find the reminders of all the battles I won. Yeah…. I got in 45 minutes on the stairclimber (like a boss), I used the row machine for a solid 9 minutes, and yes, I’ve improved my squat form so my booty is going low enough for Giles to stop giving me the thumbs down motion. How could I forget that? But I do.
- Share. I use bobybuilding.com’s social network, bodyspace, and it can be a great source of posting a sweaty post-gym pic and getting a virtual high-five (it can also be a place for people to try to be creepy, so… forewarning you). I also talk about my workout with my husband afterwards. We’ll share if we were struggling with a certain exercise (or during allergy season, if we were struggling with just the breathing part), and we’ll also brag a little… “I went up on the weight”, “I didn’t take 9 rest pauses”… whatever victories we can claim.
- Think. My wins and losses begin in my mind. Sometimes I simply sit and just reflect on the victories. I do this to instantly change my mindset. Sometimes, I need a quick come-to-Jesus meeting with myself to get my attitude in shape.
Get it Together
Some of these I’m already doing but all of them are things that I need to do more frequently. So, here’s to coming home from the gym sweaty, and munching on carrots over BBQ chips and any other little victories you can claim. Bask in the glory, guys…. bask.
So true. I think I will start listing my victories as well. So easy to whine in my journal or plead or beg, but then I realize I did something worth writing down and I sigh in relief. So thankful that I have so much I can be thankful for. Miss seeing you for sure.
Miss you, too, Donna!